Pantalones and The Destruction of Pangaea

This is perhaps a chapter in a book I may try to write. Again, this is a draft. Let me know what you think!

In the early days before everyone had discovered the power and evil of the human mind, everyone stayed the same. Also, everyone always said what they meant, just as evolution had not been willed into existence yet, the 'secret' had not yet been invented. People even wrote what they felt on their naked bodies: "I feel sad," "I feel happy," "I love you, why don't you love me." Everything was transparent. Until one day a man named Pantalones (after all, it was a name first) heard his wife's friends saying bad things about his wife.

Pantalones could not bear to tell his wife, for he knew she would be hurt, however he could not confront his wife's friends for he knew he shouldn't have been eavesdropping on their conversation. So he kept it inside, something he didn't even know people could do. His suppression did not come without its consequences. It physically hurt him every day. It was so hard to keep inside that Pantalones began covering his legs and his privates with animal fur to give himself an extra layer to contain it all. This had never been done before.

Now Pantalones was a very handsome man and his prowess with the women of the first village in the world was coveted by all. So naturally, it wasn't long before other men on Pangaea began to wear leg coverings. They called them Pantalones.
Pantalones continued to cover himself up until he could no longer breathe for fear of uttering his secret (of course he did not know what a secret was at the time).

One day, Pantalones collapsed dead. The first death ever in the first village in the world.

And thus, the secret was born, along with clothing, along with death.

Once somebody figures out how to do something, it isn't long before everyone knows how to do it.

Soon, people figured out how to keep secrets without suffocating themselves and dying (but the clothes stayed, for they rather liked the style). Boys began to keep their love for girls a secret all their lives. The secrets got so big and so difficult that these boys could not bear to look at these girls. For the first time in the first village in the world, people began to want to get away.

And thus, Pangaea was subconsciously willed apart, creating the continents.

The secrets got so unbearably big that these boys wanted to forget about these girls and they discovered, hidden deep within their minds, the idea of change.

And thus, evolution was willed into existence.

Plants and animals began to change, humans began to get bigger and lose body hair (for they were always self conscious about that). Soon the boys realized that not even change could conquer love, but it was too late. Secrets, clothing, death, continental drift, and evolution had been born. And you can never really take anything back entirely.